Fede, Chillas le Magenge

by Kgaogelo Lekota

So fede re blomme le magenge, a go na niks. Is waar go pushiwa biya strong. Mo tafoleng ke di big brown bottle, man-size eseng tse tsa di stjuzana. Ke gore vele ndawo e bodark bole ba gore is waar le blomme gontjeng fede vaya boma spoto. Mara neh yona e photse; yona daai ndawo, wabo. E tletse mathaima a le a sa shapeng boma joburg shake- shake, si zo phuza sidagwe, for-sure. Isikhathi sa mapapa asikho. So batho neva ba go tlwaele masepa ruff-ruff. Go dladiwa jazz e le thaima ne le charma ma offie ka lone. Leboye lere bo mo lamza ko mosading wa next door, wa society, wabo. Phela thaima vele yona e ne e le blind gonyela; mara se ga se story sa lethaima.

Ke thola e ei one plus a shapile chiskop; tlhogo ya shyna ka re dibono tsa ngwana ba di shynisitse ka Vaseline ele ba e rekisang ka drum. E ne vele o wa ebona gore authie e, ke ledrummy for sure. Mpintjie ya yona o renga ka Rusty. Fede segriza sa yona se bloma da ko Rusty. Ba fitlhile daas ba mo shapela round, eintlik kort vele ba shapa draai.

So di fitlhe da. Dithole magriza a vaysitse fridge ko ma shanganeng a ko mekhukhung gore ba ile go ere boma fix hier en daar. So mashangane vele a desyde hore noh wa bona die fridge eintlik e na li di parts tse ba ka di spanisang for besigheid. Magriza ga cave fokol, ka nako eo. So dibeke di fete one after the other wabo. Authie e, e bona gore haai man magriza a e bontshe gore fridge e o covile waar. E filthle da authie e. Ha e kena da ko mokhukhung e thole di apeile wors; tse tsa mashangane wabo. E ska botsa fokol. Eshaye wors authie. Thaima la da, le la leshangane ha lere le ya phakama e re mpama authie e! e khiyelle ma ouladie wa daso ko kamoreng engwe. E gutle e shape wors ya batho, e e felletse. E chaele authie e ba e shapileng ka di mpama gore e fixe fridge adawise o tlo nyella nou nou. Authie e shape di apology. E yona, after vele e shapile wors enke sound ya leshangane. Pioneer ntwana. Ke cho e le ya di steps. Ya ma bone a blinkang kare dinaledi. Sowaar e di cove daai dings. A fithle a di parake da mo magrizeng. A re vele vele o baizitse; nkebe a vaile letsona di pioneer tse, a zwakale jozi le tsona daai goetes; mara sho nkebe a popile daai man. Mqoqo wa qubeka. Ene vele by that time se ba renga ka gore Rustenburg vele go a nyewa daso. Bogata ba daar a ba se baye skeleme van die one. Ga bana vorstaan. O fitlhe da! ore hee-hee Vader askies ke enste phoso tshwara two tiger keye; o tla ba fliks ka biya nyana. O tla go chaelam, votsek u zo khuluma phambili, gibela ndoda. So ere authie ye vele; Buza uWandi wena, abaleke eGarankua. Uyang founela ebusuku Uthi kime ngi se Pitoli angi funi uku boshwa mina. Ngithi mina, uyenzeni grand-grand? Haai nayi le cherry wami ndoda ingiyenzela amasimba. Ngi ze nayo hie, naba la majita bayi shaya nge nkauza same day. Bayi nyoba vuil vuil.

This time ra bamuka lenna vele ka joina wabo.

Uyamazi u Wandi, ngi bambi i foune vee ngithi yeh? Ya chubekha die authi.  Uthi haai lomtwana ngi ze naye lana bam shaya nge kaunza lamajita. Ngathi mara haai mganam, une bad luck. Hade boy. Bavele ba ku dlela e zakho. Wang ntjela istory uWandi. Athi ke; si se bumnadini. Na manje u zo ku tjela leso stori leso. Hey mara si se bu mnandini. Siya jiva ku mnandi. Sneng sneng lo mtwana u ya vaya. Maka vaya, eh ngi ya mlandela. Mangithi ngithi, tlah! u hamba na enye intwana, baya ngena emkhukhukhwini. Ngi sondele. Bamshaya nge kaunza lomtwana. Akhele akhale lomtwana. Hey, athi ngi blomile nga leso skhati ngi mamele; angi beleivi lento. Senengneng a phume lomtwana. Ngi ngene mina ngi mu hlalise phantsi. Athi u ya phakama le autie. Ngithi yewena voetsek, ngizo ku khawatha mina manje, nja! Ngi buze le chery, hey wena kante ntse ba go ja? Ithi le cherry hayi ke ntse ke dutse le yena fela.

Mina be ngeke ngimbuze, mos uyazi embarrassa mos. Yazi daai ding e sleg, o thole umtanakho a dliwa! Haai, ku she le authie le vele lebuzy ngo ku si shaya ngo-mthangala… ka dlala. Authie e mametseng e shebe kodimo sebakanyana mo spacing; e re yona, haai mina ngcono ikhekhe vele lishe. Nga vela eskhaleni seng khala mpintjie yam. Hiii hiii. Lento imnandi kanje, ma unga thola vele enye edla, ngi vele ngi khip’ intjiza authi yami. Ngithi idla authie yama, shay’ inkauza. Nkhokhi sbami daai tyd. Me a cabanga kuthi ngi ya jouka. Ngi vele ngi shay’ idlamvu eduze kwa khe. Pha. Shay nkauza, ene unga skiti authie yam.

Ilage le enye vele a bamuge a  edde athi, Shaya!

Shaya, e cubega a shapang storie. Sweedat, donosa baby. Shaya authie yami. Ishaye ishaye ishaye. Mang- bona ukuthi iya give-apha. Ngithi shaya authi yami. Hey wena shaya lapho man! bayi shaye kuze kuse, mgan’ wam. Ngi k’founele, Mzakes letha amacondom. Uwalethe mpintjiyam. Nje ngoba ngi pethe isbam, ngithi sweedat mfake icondom, ngi shaye nami. Ngi phindele kule bari, ngithi kuye e sbali… ivaseline lapho. Ngi ishaye strong.

Haai wena Mzekeke, uya sika sani, o ratang go bamoga net-net a replaye.

Phela u thambile nga leso skhathi, angizwa lutho ke manje; e engwe e khonthinuwe.

Vele usho ukuthi uzo vele, nje eskhaleni, u shaye na le authie? A botse Mzakes.

Yah. Vele ngeke a ze a phinde na le authie.

Yi-sure-case leyo mganam. Mase ngi grand, ngi phuma ne skiye, ngi ba lockele ngaphakathi.

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