The Good Shepherd And His Sheep
by Ndaba Sibanda
They sang and shouted with joy
as he paced about, whispering of godliness.
Suddenly he raised his voice
and approached a young lady
Whose red-painted lips gleamed
with loveliness and chubbiness.
He then declared: I see you demon!
Leave her lips! I will suck you out!
His holy ones landed on her red ones;
He groaned as the congregants shouted ‘amen’
Holy Saints! That demon was stubborn
For their mouths merged madly till sunset!
Breathlessly he declared victory but added: See me
Later to free you of the last slimy remnants of that monster!
How could he not be pleased with his powers?
He who helped the ‘heavy-laden’ and ‘barren’ conceive!
After the labial drama, the pleased Prophet
ordered his sheep to venture into greener pastures.
There the congregants tucked into dishes of snakes–
including a menu of stones and flowers and grass.
They washed down the above with purple petrol
As the pleased pastor flashed a batch of flashy cards –
“Tickets to Heaven, economy five hundred dollars,
First class . . . just eight hundred dollars!” –
They snapped them up and screamed for more.
Then the Prophet had a vision: an extra lot was coming.
So he paced about, spraying them with a cute chemical –
An insect repellent, maybe a perfume?
The dizzy, desperate crowd couldn’t have cared less.
What effects would all that drinking and eating have?
Faithfully and obediently they swallowed his poison,
Swiftly dropping to the floor, praising him with their last breath.